Ho'oponopono

[Vic]

Ho'oponopono is a Hawaiian forgiveness-based belief system that (the following info is very general) emphasizes 2 basic premises. First, that the individual take responsibility for everything that happens in the world - yes, everything, and secondly, if an individual is having interpersonal difficulties, they can relieve the situation by stating the following while thinking of person they wish to 'heal' or repair relations with, "I love you, I'm sorry, please forive me, thank you". I believe these statements bring you to a place of karmic balance with others. The original intention of Ho'oponopono forgiveness requests was for use with family members. Some supporters have 'taken it to the streets' by applying these principles to anyone and everyone. I have applied it in my life with very startlingly positive results. Learn more about Ho'oponopono at http://www.ancienthuna.com/ho-oponopono.htm. Google it to find more info.

[Marilyn Mehlmann]

It’s beautiful, Vic. So is your description of how you use it. You must have been just ’ready’ for it when it came to you.

Imagine a world where everyone was able to practice daily (if necessary!) forgiveness. But even with access to truly effective methods, not everyone can. So this question of being ready seems important.

Is there any way we can help ourselves and others to be more ready? To lower the threshold? – it’s something I wonder about. Working with people with shamanic training (as well as NLP teachers) I’ve discovered that one little part of the psychosynthesis forgiveness approach does have some of that effect. It’s not enough, but it’s a step.

In brief, the approach is to identify specifically what you want to forgive – a specific situation; and then – this is the interesting bit – before proceeding to the actual forgiveness, to formulate precisely what you would have preferred. It’s not as easy as it may sound. When I get it right I can feel it physically.

For some people this is just the leg-up they need, they can go straight into forgiveness. For others it still isn’t enough, though sometimes enough to instil a hope of eventual success.

So what’s the barrier? Why on earth would we NOT forgive someone, when we have the tools and understand (at least intellectually) that we’re hurting ourselves more than the other?

I haven’t got it yet, but something to do with revenge? It seems as though when we’ve been really badly hurt, our own wellbeing takes second place to ’punishing’ the other? Added to which, such people may have a very deep belief that they have no right to feel good, so suggesting they’ll feel better when they forgive could be de-motivational!?

It would be really interesting to hear reflections from you – and anyone else interested. This is such an important topic!

[Vic]

Marilyn - Thanks for your positive comments on Ho'oponopono.

Forgive me for being so direct, but I think a disinclination to go the 'forgiveness route' is an obstacle called self-righteousness. Many of us have a strong sense of 'justice' that defines our feelings about how other people should treat us. When our expectations are not met, we think people 'should know better', and we feel deeply betrayed. This is as true for family members as it is for politicians who fall from grace. We hold them 'responsible'. We need to take back that responsibility.

Ho'oponopono cuts through the expectations, conditions and details about how to approach forgiveness. One simply decides to take responsibility for the situation (whether or not it is true in one's mind), and to forgive. Forgiveness has to start somewhere, and you're elected. There's no need for 'discussion' with the forgivee - you take it upon yourself to heal a bad situation, and 'it's the thought that counts'.

One doesn't need to practice Ho'oponopono to work this out. Just simple, unconditional forgiveness does the trick. That, IMHO, is the bottom line.

-Vic